Saturday, October 9, 2010

An Appointment or an Appointment?

I was chatting with a friend of mine today about my plans for post-graduation and intern.  I don’t really have any...  oops!  She suggested Zambia; I’ve seriously considered moving to Zambia.  I didn’t actually want to come back.  As we boarded the bus to leave Mongu, I asked God if I really had to leave.  He said yes… So I’m here.  

When I was in Zambia, God poured immense amounts of grace and favor upon me—grace being divine assistance to reach a level which I could not attain in and of myself.  I believe there is grace to be completely in God’s will at every moment in my life.  The Zambia trip was clearly a God appointment for me; the grace was there.  But how does one know the difference between grace for a moment and grace for a lifetime?  What is the difference between an appointment (part of the schedule) and an appointment (placing/position)?  I felt as if pieces of my life’s puzzle were falling into place in front of me, like a promise of what will be.  The interpreters started calling me Mother Theresa; I felt God whisper not to limit myself to that.  When I returned, I wanted to move.  But now after the encouraging voices fade and the whirlwind adventure settles, what, other than questions, remains?   Undoubtedly I am changed, but am I commissioned?  

"Where I Belong," Cory Asbury 



    "Whom shall I send, and who will go for us? Then said I, Here am I; send me." Isaiah 6:8

    God did not address the call to Isaiah; Isaiah overheard God saying, "Who will go for us?" The call of God is not for the special few, it is for everyone. Whether or not I hear God's call depends upon the state of my ears; and what I hear depends upon my disposition. "Many are called but few are chosen," that is, few prove themselves the chosen ones. The chosen ones are those who have come into a relationship with God through Jesus Christ whereby their disposition has been altered and their ears unstopped, and they hear the still small voice questioning all the time, "Who will go for us?" It is not a question of God singling out a man and saying, "Now, you go." God did not lay a strong compulsion on Isaiah; Isaiah was in the presence of God and he overheard the call, and realized that there was nothing else for him but to say, in conscious freedom, "Here am I, send me." Get out of your mind the idea of expecting God to come with compulsions and pleadings. When our Lord called His disciples there was no irresistible compulsion from outside. The quiet passionate insistence of His "Follow Me" was spoken to men with every power wide awake. If we let the Spirit of God bring us face to face with God, we too shall hear something akin to what Isaiah heard, the still small voice of God; and in perfect freedom will say, "Here am I; send me."

  2. Truth indeed! I suppose my question is not so much if I am called, for I have heard the call and answered willingly, but where and when I am called to be there. Isaiah 6:9, "He said, 'Go and tell this people.'" God sends Isaiah with a specific message to a specific group of people. For us, the message is Christ, and in Matt 28:19 Jesus commissions us to go to all nations, thus, I have a clear purpose. But the steps, I have not. Psalm 37:23 says, "the steps of the righteous man are established by the Lord," and Jeremiah 10:23 says, "I know, O Lord, that a man's way is not in himself, nor is it in a man who walks to direct his steps." I am continually in a place of needing to trust and allow God to draw me to His heart(Psalm 3:6). Today God calls me to be here, tomorrow there, and after that maybe elsewhere—steps... The struggle is discerning God's heart from my flesh. I desire to be completely in His will at all times; life is much more comfortable there (though I know not necessarily in a physical comfort sense).